STRONG STARTS: Dawn Miller’s “Howl”

STRONG STARTS: Dawn Miller’s story “Howl,” in The Things We Leave Behind

Storytellers are sometimes tempted to do the “James Bond”—start with a chase scene, an explosion, something quick and frantic to get the heartbeats going.

Truth is, the opposite is often more effective. Early on, it’s important to include detailed description so readers can picture who’s where and what’s going on. Very early, it’s important to get setting, character, and pathos out there for the readers, and Dawn Miller does just that in two short paragraphs:

Snow crunched as Jon neared the cabin. Between strides, a whimper threaded through the wind. He thought it must be the squeak of his boots. But there it sounded again, a mournful cry. His flashlight cast a bluish tinge over the stark Yukon terrain. Shadows of spruce and pine trees stretched across the snow like sentries.

Minus 40 Celcius. The coldest day of the winter so far. The wind howled, gusting in a hundred whirling dervishes of granular snow. He swiped his face, the nylon of his Arctic mitt scratching against his beard. His stomach rumbled. The whining intensified.

Immediately we can picture the stark conditions and have a bit of sympathy for Jon. In a very short space, Miller establishes the basics… BUT…

There is much more going on here.

She is a talented writer with many tools in her writer’s toolbox, so she does use rich sight and sound imagery, figurative language, and sound devices while telling her tale. Here are a few that stand out to me:

1. Use of sound

Notice the rich use of onomatopoeia: crunched, whimper, squeak, mournful cry, howled, rumbled and whining not only add to the sound imagery, but also, because they have a negative connotation or feeling attached to them, help to create mood and pathos as well.

Alliteration: threaded through, snow like sentries—those repeated beginning sounds add to the fluency.Figurative language2.

2. Figurative Language

Miller also uses figurative language to make her story more literary. She blends personification with simile in that phrase, “trees stretched across the snow like sentries.” She blends hyperbole with metaphor in “a hundred whirling dervishes of granular snow.” Often, she combines techniques together to make them even stronger.

The result is that in a very short space, she not only sets the scene, creates a mood, and introduces a character, but she also integrates technique into her storytelling to strengthen how it sounds and flows as we read it.

There’s no doubt as to why Dawn Miller was one of eight finalists in Blank Spaces’ short story contest to publish her work in the anthology of the same name: strong storytelling!

To read the rest of the tale and support her writing, check out a copy of The Things We Leave Behind at https://www.chickenhousepress.ca/bookstore/p/the-things-we-leave-behind

or on Amazon at https://amzn.to/3zb8s7V